Back to the Basics

I've been learning a ton this semester, but sometimes it is the basics that need to be revisited and often missed. One of these lessons came recently from a new friend that I made at my local Starbucks. Let's call him Tim. It's his name, so I think it's appropriate to call him that. So Tim and I were talking about God after he got off work and he was telling me of a recent revelation he had (forgive me, he said it better than I will). He said "You began the Christian life on your knees and you live the Christian life on your knees. It is only when you move from that position that you get it trouble."

Wow. The reason why we follow Christ in the first place is because we can't do it, and what sense does it make for us to think that we can do it after? This got me thinking about my dependance on God and my constant need for Him.

This morning I went to a book called The Valley of Vision, which is a collection of old Puritan prayers, because in the past they have helped me in my prayers to God. When going through them I found one called A Convert's First Prayer. Please take a minute to read this and see that whether you have been following Jesus for a day or for your whole life, this prayer is always relevant and needs to be on our lips. . .

My Father,
I could never have sought my happiness in thy love, unless thou had'st first loved me.
Thy Spirit has encouraged me by grace to seek thee, has made known to me thy reconciliation in Jesus, has taught me to believe it, has helped me to take thee for my God and portion.

May he grant me to grow in the knowledge and experience of thy love,
and walk in it all the way to glory.

Blessed for ever be thy fatherly affection,
which chose me to be one of thy children by faith in Jesus:
I thank thee for giving me the desire to live as such.

In Jesus, my brother, I have my new birth, every restraining power, every renewing grace.

It is by they Spirit I call thee Father, believe in thee, love thee;

Let the Spirit continually reveal to me my interest in Christ,
May he abide in me that I may know my union with Jesus,
and enter into constant fellowship with him;

By the Spirit may I daily live to thee,
rejoice in thy love,
find it the same to me as to thy Son,
and become rooted and grounded in it as a house on a rock;

I know but little--
increase my knowledge of thy love in Jesus,
keep my pressing forward for clearer discoveries of it,
so that I may find its eternal fullness;

Magnify thy love to me according to its greatness,
and not according to my deserts or prayers,
and whatever increase thou givest, let it draw out greater love to thee.

Intro to New Media Project

Although this isn't my normal kind of blog post, I just wanted to let you know what was going on in the Life of Richard. I'm in a class at Crossroads that is about New Media and this is an introduction to my semester project. It will be a video (not one of me, but a video nonetheless) about why we need Biblical Counseling available at all churches. The truth is that we are all messed up by sin and we will be getting advice and counseling from somewhere and if it is not Biblical, we need to evaluate where it's from. So stay tuned here for updates on that and how that is coming along.

P.S. I do think that I will have a more normal blog post by this weekend. . .

Beautiful. . .

A couple of week I attended a second wedding in the last month and it's made me do a lot of thinking. I actually sat down at my computer Labor Day weekend and started this post, but my brain still had much to think through. I have been thinking and dwelling on this for the past month now and can hopefully get out some semblance of what God has put on my heart.

So these weddings were amazing. One was Sara and Ryan who got married about a month ago now and the other was a friend who I went to college with for a year. Both weddings were beautiful and showcased God and His design for us along with the covenant of marriage. As I sat there at the second wedding, my thoughts turned to the first couple, Adam and Eve.

The first chapter and a half of the Bible is God creating and everything being good. God makes something and sees that it is good. He makes something else and that was good. Moving forward to Genesis 2:18, "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'" So now we see that everything up until this point has been good and beautiful and right, but then we see that this one thing, for man to be alone, is not good. So to remedy this, God brings all the animals and we see in verse 20, "The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him." I think God knew this was coming. I don't think he was crossing His fingers saying "Oh man I hope Adam finds something as a suitable helper!" He is God. But because he did this what happens next becomes more beautiful.

After seeing that something to be done, God did one of the most beautiful things ever. "So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.Then the man said,

'This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.'
(Genesis 2:21-23)

How beautiful is this scene. God sees that it is not good for man to be alone, and He creates this counterpart for the man. Not that He was forced to, not that He had to, but out of overflowing love and joy within God, He created the woman. He could see right from the start that man couldn't do it alone and needed a helper.

We see this distorted all the time, where the man takes this idea to an unhealthy level and marriage is essentially signing the woman into servitude. On the other side, we see this distorted by an overbearing woman who the Bible says "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife" (Proverbs 21:9) and "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day" (Proverbs 27:15) But neither of these are what God had designed in the Garden. We live in a broken world and those things God made beautiful are now tainted by our depravity.

So now what? How do we take this thing that was beautiful and then was destroyed, how do we make it beautiful again? This relationship between husbands and wives, like everything else, now needs to be reconciled. Paul addresses this in Ephesians 5.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

Here we see Genesis 2 being lived out. She comes alongside and helps (cause we all know he can't do it alone). He loves, cherishes, and leads her, not lording it over her. There is mutual love, respect, honor, and it is beautiful again.

I know that this is the way it is supposed to be now and therefore not easy at all, but that doesn't dismiss these commands.

Paul in this passage ends with the conclusion of the Genesis 2 passage, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." (Genesis 2:24-25)

I know I am not married, but I see this being lived out in the lives of those around me and I see the beauty that God made it to be and it makes me smile and hope for my future. See, when you don't have something, you want it. Once you get it, and have been married to it for a while, it can loose it's beauty in your eyes. Please don't let it do that. If you are married, please take time to tell your spouse how special they are to you. Please don't forget how beautiful God made this thing. Live out how He commanded you to and show those of us who aren't married that not only is it possible, but that it is beautiful. . .

My Bad. . .

Let me first say that I am humbled and shamefaced. I believe that I said, a few posts back, that I would never let myself go two months without blogging here. And as I look back now, it has been three since I last graced your computer screen. So as it was said so many times in the 90s (and I still hate this phrase), my bad.

Life has been eventful, but since my blog has been my journal, I couldn't exactly tell you all that has happened, you'll just have to trust me. It has been a rather dry time spiritually, but that was my fault. God had some stuff that He wanted to deal with in my life and I tried to barter with Him (To hear some great sermons on that, check out the "Games People Play" series (3 Parts) by Pastor Matt Chandler - http://bit.ly/2MFLV2 ). Anyway, I finally dealt with that last week and God has been powerful to show me more areas in my life where I need to take more steps toward Him and away from my flesh.

For those of you who haven't seen a "RedBox" DVD rental place, it is a brilliant idea. You rent a movie for a day for a dollar. If you have it for 2 days, it is $2. If you keep it for another day, $3, and on and on (That is all kind of a sidenote. This story isn't about that, just a heads up for inexpensive movie rentals). Well after going to Kroger with a friend, I grabbed a movie from RedBox (the first time I had ever done that) that she had just seen and told me how brilliant it was. The movie was "I Love You, Man" and it was brilliant. I remember seeing the trailer several months ago and thinking of how good a movie it would be. When it came out, it was rated R, prettymuch for language and some sexual references. I thought, how bad can it be, right?

The movie was great. I loved the storyline and the acting was incredible. If you know me at all, you know that I'm a "Bromance" guy, that my guy friends are like brother to me and that I love them. This movie mirrored my life at certain points and the comedy was hilarious. I highly recommend this movie. . . . .when it comes to TV in a few years. There were a few scenes and conversations (and a ton of language) that they could have done without and because of all that, as good as it was, I couldn't enjoy this movie. I can deal with a little language here and there, but this was too much for me to handle.

I watched it on Saturday and on Sunday at church, my pastor mentioned a blog post he wrote a while back called "Inches Become Miles" (check it out here - http://bit.ly/3kdKDF). In this post, which I highly recommend, he talked about a similar experience with a movie he had. . .

"And that got me thinking…how often do we allow Satan to pull us away from the Lord little by little? The problem is that when we ease up on our values just a little bit, that allowance then becomes our new “normal”. When we give in a little on that new norm, we are now two steps away from our original starting point. A slight adjustment again moves us farther away from our “true north” and we seem to get lost. On and on it goes. Inch after inch becomes a mile over time."

Now I'm not going to say that all rated R movies are bad and that you can't watch them, but I will press you on the fact that we become desensitized to stuff the more we are around it. Things that would have bugged us a few years ago are now normal and one day the stuff that bugs us now we won't even notice anymore. Unless we see it now, and change it.

In the end for me, it isn't about rated R movies and swearing on TV, I just want to be and look more like Jesus. I want my life to be one of holiness and to take another step in this long process of sanctification. I want to become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit's promptings in my life. I'm not doing this so that God'll love me, because He already does and He can't love me any more, I'm doing this so that my love for Him will show in obedience. I dunno who we're kidding when we can say that we love Him without obeying Him, but that's another blog for another day. . .

Good News vs. Religion: Old Habits Die Hard. . .

It's funny being home and returning to the life I have had since I was born. What is great/terrifying (depending on the situation) is how quickly you return to habits you used to have once you return to the place where you once were. I have quickly picked up on things that I used to do before I left and I like I said before, it can either be great or terrifying, depending on if they are good or bad habits.

I have been trying to realize what in my faith is essential, based on the relationship with Jesus & the Word of God, and what is based on the religion we know as Evangelicalism. As someone who was raised in a Christian home, and is back in that home again now, I'm trying to distinguish not only for myself, but also trying to help others escape religion and grab ahold of Jesus.

Where in the Bible does it say that Christians cannot consume alcohol? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians cannot wear jeans to church on Sunday? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians have to pretend that we are perfect and that we don't have problems? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians can only listen to and have to listen to contemporary Christian music? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians. . . . .(and the list goes on)?

Now I know there are principles that are set up and some things are brought up. Getting drunk is wrong. We are to give God our best. We are being transformed by the Holy Spirit in our lives and are no longer characterized by our old lives. And I have no idea about the Christian music one, but the point is, I think we have complicated the Gospel way too much.

Gospel means "good news" and it really is good and beautiful. God came down to us and, once again in the words of Mark Driscoll, "Jesus lived the life we couldn't live, died the death we should have died, and defeated our enemies of Satan, sin, and death." THAT IS BEAUTIFUL! WHAT ABOUT THAT IS NOT ABSOLUTELY AMAZING?! We are powerless to come out of it ourselves (Eph. 2) and He knew that. So what are people told now? "Get rid of all your garbage and when you are good, God'll save you." But that is a works based religion and not the good news of Jesus. He saves us where we are, but cares about us too much to let us stay there. He changes us. He changes our desires and our heart.*

I will probably consume some alcohol when it is legal (not get drunk & after I am 21). I will not come to church looking like a slob. I will not flaunt my sin, but I will not deny that I am imperfect and that God is in the process of transforming me. And with contemporary Christian music, I'll probably do all I can to avoid it if I can (because I really think it all sounds the same, as a whole). I will give up my freedoms (that Christ purchased for me) when the situation calls for it, but I will "call sinners to repent of sin and religious people to repent of religion." (<- also Mark Driscoll). . .

*NOTE* - It is not bad to set up personal boundaries so that you can more easily resist sin, but we need to realize that if it is a personal boundary, it is exactly that, personal. We should not set up unbiblical boundaries for others and expect them to obey our rules. That was the problem the Pharisees had with Jesus. . .

*2nd NOTE* - I'm not saying that there are not universal sins and wrong things. Adultery is wrong. Period. For Everyone. Murder is wrong. Period. For everyone. And the list goes on. Not talking about those thing, I'm talking about other things. I hope that clarifies. . .

P.S.- The video is completely unrelated.

. . .In San Francisco

Home is great. As I lay here on the bed I slept on during my high school years this out, it is difficult for me to conceive of the notion, but I am home. So to recap for those who don't remember, I'm from suburban San Francisco, but go to school in Indianapolis. I spend the majority of my year in school in Indy, but San Francisco is my home. But getting back, home is great. Not necessarily a particular house or memory, but home.

Today was a long day for me. Some finals and stuff, packing, catching a flight to Atlanta and then to San Francisco, and now home. I don't mind flying, I mean I do it often enough, but there is always something about reaching your final destination that feels good. Even if that final destination isn't home, it is at least a destination. You don't have to sit in an uncomfortable airport chair, or when worse the uncomfortable airplane chair. But even better than a final destination is home.

I fell asleep somewhere over Arkansas and didn't wake up till we were about 20 minutes outside of the San Francisco airport. But when I did wake up, I looked at the virtual map/tracker thingy and it was glorious. As they zoomed in on the area I saw names of cities I have known from birth. I am comfortable enough in my masculinity to admit that a tear swelled up in my eye when I saw this map. This was home and nothing was going to ruin my night.

It took us 15 minutes to taxi to the gate. Who cares? I'm home. . .

I got hit in the head by the overhead compartment as I was leaving the plane. Who cares? I'm home. . .

It took my luggage 20 minutes to get to the carousel. Who cares? I'm home. . .

Don't get me wrong, I love Indiana. I'll complain about this and that, but if I really didn't like it, I really would leave. I love the people. Hoosiers really are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. I love Crossroads and what I am doing there. I love it all, but that doesn't make it home. I know that, Lord willing, I'll come back to San Francisco after I graduate. There are people here that I wish i could avoid and there are situations that will be awkward to deal with here, but it's home.

There is a certain comfort that comes from home, wherever that is for you. But for me, I left my heart here, in San Francisco. . .

Hard Left Turn

So God has been teaching me a lot. A lot. I have been thinking about sin. Mostly my sin, but other’s also. To be honest it usually starts at my sinful looking at other’s sin and then being convicted of my own. He has gone through and started taring down my ideas and pre-conceived notions of Christianity since I have been a Christian for most of my life. There is way too much religion and not enough good news of Jesus in today’s Christianity. I get angry at “Christian T.V”, radio, music, and most of whatever has the term Christian in front of it because in the words of Matt Chandler, “they have hijacked Christianity” and I have been thinking about how little the Gospel has to do with Christianity anymore. I am guilty of this too as we all are.

It was a Matt Chandler sermon that has spoken to me, I have forced about half a dozen people to listen to it and will continue to until everyone hears this 3 part sermon series on sex. Even though they are entitled “Sex” it is about way more than sex. It is about God’s redemption, the rhythm of love, the mingling of souls, and the wilderness. You, whoever you are, need to listen to these sermons (http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/sermons?kw=sex&type=sermons&match=any).

I don’t want to give away the sermon, but at the end of the first one, he talks about the story in John 8 where the Pharisees bring the women caught in adultery to Jesus and prepare to stone her. To make the story short, He calls out for the one who is without sin to cast the first stone. They all left, Jesus picks her up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." Here Matt goes in another direction, but what smacked me is that Jesus was the one without sin. He had every right to condemn her and yet, he had compassion.

That is mind-blowing. I have been thinking about this for the past several hours and cannot get it out of my mind. Matt puts it into infinitely better words than I do, but I am seeing in my own life that I am too quick to judge. I am seeing that I don’t have Jesus’ eyes. I am seeing that I need His grace and I need to show his grace to others. I need to forgive because I have been forgiven. A LOT. I need to help other and not condemn them based on what they have or haven’t done. God really does meet us where we are and cannot love us anymore that what He already has. I’m seeing that I’m that sinner thrown down in front of Jesus and am completely worthy of the stoning that I should receive but am completely unworthy of the grace that He shows.

The most beautiful part is that at the end, he tells her to go, not in condemnation, but with peace. He loves the unlovely. He chooses the worthless things and gives them worth. He picks up the broken pieces, binds, and then heals.

The song that is (or was playing) on this blog is “Give me your eyes” by Brandon Heath. Give it a chance. It has hit me at the same time as this sermon and it brings peace to my soul. . .

Once again, the place to get those sermons is: http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/sermons?kw=sex&type=sermons&match=any

When words are not enough. . Even if they are a little late .

I know this is late but. . . . . .

A few nights ago as I was reading Cari's blog about her mom (andyandcari.blogspot.com), which was spot on by the way, I was sitting there on my bed 2500(ish) miles away from my mom, and I thought of how much I miss her. Most of you don't know my mom, but those who do know that it is difficult to put into words the women that brought me life.

My mom is amazing. I know most people say that about there mom, but mine really is. The first thing I think of when I think of my mom is how much she loves people. She is unselfish and self-sacrificing, probably to an unhealthy level, but is always looking out for and caring for other people. She loves people. A lot. She loves my family enough to take the first shift of the day at the gym she works at. She wakes up at 3:30 to be there by 5 and when those doors open at 5:30 AM (yes, when it is still dark outside), all those people see is her smiling face ready to greet them. She has worked there since I was about 9 or 10 and every year I continue to see how much those people love her back and appreciate her. When Christmastime comes, these people buy my mom gifts. I need to remind you that she works the front desk at a gym. When was the last time you bought a Christmas present (and some of these are nice Christmas presents) for the receptionist? She would have to be pretty special right? Then she handwrite literally hundreds of Thank You cards to all these people. How often does that happen?

She is infinitely more than I could describe to you here now, but here is a glimpse of who she is. .

She is very hospitable. When I was a kid, my friends would always come over to our house to hang out.

She is very emotional. I can remember countless times when my mom has either 1) cried in the first five minutes of a movie, and/or 2) walked in on the last 5 minutes of a show or movie and started crying in those 5 minutes. I didn't know someone could cry like that after having no idea whatsoever about the plot.

She is a worrier. Now I know most moms are like this, but few rival her. My dad says that she has turned it into an art form (or something like that). When she found out that Indiana had snow *gasp* and that you had to drive in it *gasp again*, she started calling more often to make sure that I had a 7 inch thick winter coat on and that I was driving slow and watching out for the other drivers.

She was and still is always there. I knew that my mom would always "bandage my wounds" when I was a kid and she'll still pick up the phone, even if she is taking a nap.

She started acting weird a few years ago. And when I say weird, I mean like, my mom like Christian Rap. Where did that come from? My mom has a quick whit, and I never saw that when I was a kid. My mom will laugh at very inappropriate times or things. I know after reading that she is blushing and shaking her head.

She isn't perfect, but who is?

I earnestly believe a lot of who I am today is because of my mom. She taught me how to love and serve others. And I know that I am not prefect, but I know that my mom has been a model of how I am to act, serve, & love.

I love you mom and I'll see you in a few weeks.

From one who is proud to be your son, Happy Mother's Day. . .

Who I Am and How I Am to Live: JuxtaPositions

One of the biggest tragedies of American Christianity is that we don't understand the Cross and all that our "Good Friday" meant to the one who was sacrificed for our sins. As someone who has grown up in a Christian family and been a part of our Good Friday services at my church, I am very well acquainted with the story, but am calloused to what it means and what it meant. Tonight, after being in the hospital all day, I went to a friend's house in the evening and a group of us watched Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ." I have seen it before, but I found that this time, some new things struck me about all that happened:

Who I Am.

How I Am To Live.

The first is Who I Am. There are only two responses & positions to this question and they were portrayed by the thieves on the crosses next to Jesus. The first thief saw Jesus and did not see himself for who he was. There was no sorrow, no agony in his life as he saw the man who was "God come down to man" die on the cross. He saw God and said "Are you not God? Save yourself and us!" He echoed all what the others around him were saying, which was essentially "If you are God, prove it to me!" "If you really are God, show me that you are God! I need something more that what you have already revealed! Show me or I won't believe!" The sad part is that this is prevalent in society. John Mayer sings "Is there a God? Why is he waiting? Don't you think of it odd when he knows my address?" "JESUS SHOW ME YOU ARE GOD!" This man was unrepentant and wanted more than Jesus would give him. "I'll believe when you do _____! Not until" Who is this man to question God? Who are we to make demands of God?

The second thief saw Jesus and responded as we all should, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of out deeds: but this man has done nothing wrong." This in and of itself would have been amazing. He sees who he is. He sees who Jesus is. He sees that it isn't God needed to prove anything, but that He has already shown all He needed to by Jesus' death on the cross. BUT. BUT. BUT then he continues, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." This is an outrageous request to be made. If you really think about it, you'll realize it is one of the most absurd requests ever made. A man who has done wrong, completely realizes it, is being punished for it, and then asks God to bring him into his eternal kingdom. This clearly is NOT based on his merit, on his efforts to please God, or anything other than grace & mercy. What is more absurd is Jesus' response, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

When honestly pondered, it makes no sense. How could a filthy, sin-stained man come before a holy, righteous, truly awesome God? How can he even ask to enter his presence? Without the blood of Jesus, this is impossible. But we need to see that we are one of those two thieves on the cross. Neither deserve grace & mercy. One asks God to prove himself. The other sees God for who He is, sees himself for who he is, and throws himself at the feet of the only one who can make him clean. For those of us who are Christians, we need to realize that we have no "rights" to God's grace, but that it comes to the most, not only un-deserving, ill-deserving of sinners. Once we realize that, we have a correct view of our relationship with Him and can truly worship Him.

Who am I? Who is Jesus? Who I am in light of Jesus? Who am I now because of Jesus?

The second thing that I saw was Barabbas. God actually first showed this to me my Freshman year, but I thought about it again tonight. When Pilate asks who he should release to the people, Jesus or Barabbas, we know the answer. They ask for Barabbas, he goes free, and Jesus gets crucified, but there is something deeper and relates to the two thieves who hung next to Jesus. We all know that Jesus died for us. He died so that we might have life. In the words of Driscoll, "He lived the life we couldn't live, died the death we should have died, then rose from the grave, claiming victory of Satan, sin and death." We know these things, but what about the man who He literally died in the place of?

Barabbas was thrown in prison for being a murderer and starting a violent uprising against the government; a terrorist. He was a sinner. He deserved death. He would have died had Jesus not been the substitute for him. He would have eventually been executed, but was let go at Jesus' expense. We know nothing other than what is recorded us in the Gospels, but I have always wondered what happened to Barabbas after. We think of what he did before and then we see him released, but the writers are silent are that. We have our presuppositions, but we don't truly know.

After Barabbas was released, like everyone else, had two positions he could have taken. He could have continued to live the life he had before Jesus' substitution, or he could have repented and changed. What if the man who had once led political uprisings, turned and led sinners in repentance? Once again, I want to point out that we don't know, but I want you to think about it. Jesus literally died for him, so how did he live in response to that? How do we live knowing that Jesus died for us? We can live two ways, exemplified in the thieves. Once we see who we are, do we ask for more or do we seek His grace and mercy?

How are we to live in light the life that Jesus lived and the death that Jesus died? Do we come before Jesus and ask Him to prove himself, or do we fall down at Jesus' feet and plead His precious, cleansing blood? How do we respond? How do you respond?

Do you know who you are? Do you know who He is? If you do, how do you live your life? How is this to affect your life?

Priorities & Knowing God

There have been several things that have been going through my mind/God teaching me today, but two stick out.

Priorities.

Knowing God better.

Let me start out by explaining what happened today. Cari & Andy are the couple I live withish. Around 5 this morning (Tuesday), Andy had a seizure. Cari called 911 and they took him to the hospital down the street. Within 30 minutes, Cari said he was completely back to normal, but they ran a bunch of tests to see what it was. It turns out he has a tumor on his brain. They will operate on Friday and, Lord willing, it will never come back. Whether it does or not, We know God is in control.

With all that as back story, I will begin at the end of tonight. I was asked by Cari and Andy to come back to the hospital after my night class so I could walk Cari out to the parking lot. I got there a few minutes early and as Cari was packing up to leave, she offhandedly/rhetorically asked, "Do you even remember what our biggest problem was yesterday?" Andy, being mostly out of it was slightly confused because he, well, was pretty exhausted. But that one question stuck in my mind.

Why is it that it takes a horrific event to get our priorities straight? After September 11, families started spending more time together. When my friend Johnson Ko died a few weeks ago, I called my sister, who was in his class, and told her I loved her. When Caden died last September, we all let go of those things that were bugging us the day before we found out. What was the biggest problem Cari and Andy had yesterday? Who cares? Whatever it was is obviously still there, but in light of a precious husband, brother, friend, who cares?

Problems will come and go. They will always be around and they will never stop coming. We need to realize that our priorities are out of alignment before the next horrific event takes place. Because if we don't, we might not get the chance to fix them in time (in case you don't remember that order, here it is: 1st) God. 2nd) Spouse (or family if you are single). 3rd) Your Children (if you have kids). 4th) Everything else (job, school, ect. . .).

The other thing He taught me was the beauty of knowing God more and more. I found out at 6:45 AM when Trish (Cari's mom) called me, let me know what happened, and asked me to let Bo (their beloved dog) out so he could. . well, ya know. So I did, but I stayed up for a bit and prayed. At first reaction, I will admit I was a bit frustrated with God. I was thinking, "God, isn't it honoring when two of your children love each other, have healthy kids, and live normal lives?" I thought about it for another minute when suddenly it donned on me that this might be a little warning sign of something really being wrong with Andy. Within a few hours, we all found out that Andy had that tumor and that there is a chance once it is removed, it might be gone forever. Without the seizure, we would have not found out and who knows what would have happened.

That idea that I had wasn't because of my superior knowledge, but because I am getting to know God better. I am listening and my will is beginning to align with His. What I have learned is that God has a bigger purpose for everything that happens. If I live a life that is shallow and make demands of God to know everything right away, that isn't going to help me know more. But if I am spending time with Him in prayer and in His Word, I will know more about who He is and His characteristics. He isn't the bully with a fly swatter ready to destroy us when we do something wrong. He loves His children and wants to bless them.

Why do we live lives that are so shallow? In our mircowaved, drive-thru, lose 80 pounds in 15 minute society, we need to see that God doesn't work like that. We can't avoid Him and then expect to know more about Him. We are in a relationship with Him. I have heard, from people who know, that when you get a girlfriend or boyfriend, you want to spend as much time with them as possible. You learn their characteristics, mannerisms, quirks, you see how they react to different situations, and as you spend time with them, you get to know them better. If you start dating someone and then talk to them once a week, it probably isn't going to last long. If you disregard them and ignore them, it won't be soon until they say "ya know what. I don't think this is gunna work out."

Similarly, spending time with God in prayer and Bible study is like eating and drinking. It is so 100% completely necessary to live. Would you expect someone who had one meal on Sunday morning and maybe one on a Wednesday night to be a healthy person, while the rest of the week, they didn't have anything to nourish their bodies? Of course not. So why do we expect to listen (half listen probably) to a 30 minute sermon and consider ourselves good for the week. In John 7, Jesus talks about how He is the living water and in John 6 Jesus refers to Himself as the bread of Life. That is how essential time with Him is.

As I'm saying this stuff, I am realizing how far I have to go and how much I still have to learn, but I'm making progress. I am still lightyears away, but I now see the foolishness of how society and I have tried to do things. Please see the truth presented here and respond accordingly. Matthew 7:24-27 is the passage about the two different reactions when they heard the Word of God. Those who hear and do something are the ones who build their house on the rock. Rains will come. Their house stood firm. Respond accordingly. . .

Unexpected treat (and a minor soap box). . .

God is good. I mean really really really really good. Kinda beyond description.

So it has been a long and rough week, but I was on Facebook tonight just minding my own business, when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone I went to high school with sent me a message on Facebook chat. We weren't enemies in high school (I mean common, it's me), but we had some rough times. I was me and he was kinda a ghetto kid who often would mock me for, well, being me. Overall we got along, but after he graduated ('05) I didn't hear much from him or even about him. I saw that he joined the army, but I didn't know much beyond that. I wondered how he was doing and if he was walking with God (I wasn't sure if he was even walking with God in high school).

So he starts up a conversation and is asking me about how I'm doing and where I am and what I'm planning on doing. When I told him I was at a Bible College in Indianapolis as a Biblical Counseling major who is the Student Council President, I was expected him to start mocking me again like he had so many times before. I was shocked when he expressed interest to hear more. We keep talking and he is in Afghanistan with 10 months left until he goes back to San Francisco. Once he goes back, he is planning on leading a worship team that would play all over the Bay Area. Wow. Is this the same guy? Well not really. He said that after high school, God did some big things in his life that forced him to cling to God. He wasn't the same guy. God had changed him.

*WARNING! RICHARD IS STEPPING UP ONTO A BOX THAT CONTAINS SOAP AND IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR IT, DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T WARN YOU! THIS IS AT LEAST TWO OR THREE LINES OF TEXT AND IF YOU CONTINUE ON, IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT( if you aren't ready for it, go to the bottom where you see more bold font and right underneath that, I will step off the box of soap)!*

How often do we put limits on God? How often do we think that something, no matter what it is, is impossible for God to do or change? Which heart is so hard that He can't melt? What obstacle is so big that God won't do it? Now I'm not saying that God will always choose to act just because He can, but why do we all too often limit God? How many times has He blown each of us away? Maybe a better question is why we have such short memories spans? We know He is faithful, so why does that not matter?

I think it is because we don't "feel" it. Now I am about to seriously pimp-slap (I don't know if that is appropriate, but it is too late) the next person who says, "I know God promised ______ in the Bible, but I just don't FEEEEEEEEEELLLL it!" Who gives a flying fart in space (a British term, not mine) what you feel? If God promised it is His Word, it is better than any feelings. Or should I say "truer" than any feelings.

What is so beautiful about God is that no matter how we feel, He is faithful and He will always keep His promises. In those times that something seems impossible, He is just as faithful. We are so driven by our feelings nowadays that it seems like we are elevating our feelings over God's promises. This is not only wrong but stupid (sorry, I'll watch my language). This is some of the best news since it isn't dependent on us for God to keep His promises. He isn't sitting on his thrown slouched and solving a Rubki's cube saying "Man, I don't wanna do this right now, I'm not feeling it right now. Come back later when I feel like keeping my promise."

We need to take His promises as His promises and not let our feelings limit Him in what He can do.

*FOR THOSE WHO STOPPED READING UP THERE, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO COME BACK TO A RICHARD WHO IS MORE EVEN TEMPERED AND WILL NOT BE GETTING BACK ON HIS BOX TONIGHT FOR FEAR THAT THE RAIN WILL TURN HIS SOAP BOX INTO A SOAP SUD PARTY ON THE STREET CORNER WHERE RICHARD AND HIS ONCE PROPERLY SHAPED BOX WERE EARLIER!*

It was amazing to see how different he was and it served as a reminder that I'm no better than him. We are both ill-deserving sinner saved by God's grace. We both committed enough sins to fill the oceans and put our Saviour on that cross. The miracle that I see so clearly God did in this young man's life is the same one that He did for me and continues to do in my life. He saved me and is saving me. When Paul said that "none is righteous, no not one" (Romans 3:10) this does not somehow magically exclude me.

I know I mentioned this in my previous post, but I am struck by the boldness of Jesus' words in Luke 7 when He says "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." Jesus know that we each have an infinite number of sins, but I think this is about perception. She was a sinful women and the other man was a teacher of the Jewish law. She knew she was filthy and needed lots of forgiveness. The other man, not so much. He needed just as much forgiveness, but he didn't think he needed it.

I was that man. I was religious and the young man was more known for his sins. But in the end, we both need the same unmerited favor. Now that I know that just by being religious does nothing, I realize that I have been forgiven of much and because of that, I love much and will continue to love much.

*Please be in prayer for my friend, Gilbert Lucero serving in the U.S. Army who is currently deployed in Afghanistan. He is serving his country well and is striving to serve his God well*

In light of my previous post. . .

Let me start this off by saying, if you haven't read my pervious post "And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart" go read it and then continue with this one.

ok.

So after God rocked my world and then rocked it again (monday and tuesday), I went to the office of Crossroads' Executive VP and talked to him about it and kinda looked for what my next step is supposed to be. He was ecstatic about the whole thing and was pumped for me. It being a trial in my life, I was a little more reserved in my response to God dealing with me. When I asked him about what was next, he reminded me of the parable of the guy who lent money to two guys and canceled both debts (one of 50 denarii and one of 500 denarii, representing 2 months' wages and 20 months' wages respectively) from Luke 7:36-50. This parable is told after the sinful women anointed Jesus with the expensive perfume and the Pharisee whose house they are eating in gets bent out of shape about the whole thing. The point of the parable is summed up in verse 47 where Jesus says "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

What an incredibly powerful statement that is. I think why I didn't love God as much as I should have when I was younger is because I thought I only had a few sins and they weren't big enough for Jesus to really worry about, so it wasn't a big deal. Now that I realize that my heart is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) and (to borrow a term that might rub some the wrong way) completely, totally, and utterly depraved, I love God a lot more because I realize that I have been forgiven of so much.

After we talked for a few minutes, he draw a diagram for me about this. There was a man at the bottom (narrow part) of a cone-shaped thing (that opened up wider and wider), arrows on either side of the man and God & holiness at the other end of the cone. The arrows on either side of the man represented (on the left) his awareness of sin and (on the right) his gratitude or love towards God. As the man worked his way up the cone toward God & holiness, the arrows got longer (aka. the more he saw himself for who he was, meaning how sinful he was in light of a perfect & holy God and also that he would have more gratitude and love in light of seeing all that he had been forgiven on).

I had never thought of it this way before, but that definitely needed to be my response to God pealing back more of the curtain that revealed more and more of my sin to me. I was originally frustrated and angry with myself, but John reminded me that that would lead to condemnation (which Romans 8:1 says is not the case for Christians).

So I am definitely not there yet, but it is encouraging to see God working on me. Praise God that my salvation is not in my hands, but in those of my Lord & God. . .

. . .And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. . .

Recently, the combination of "How Great Is Our God" & "How Great Thou Art" has been playing over and over again in my mind. I have been stuck specifically on the last stanza of the beloved hymn:

"When Christ shall come, with shout of acclimation,

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And then proclaim: "MY GOD, HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

I don't know why, but this classic hymn along with this contemporary chorus makes my heart bow down and makes me realize how great He really is.

As I told my best friend Ben last night, "God picked today to deal with me" and He really did. After listening the the Mark Driscoll sermon (at the bottom of this blog) and having a crucial conversation with a friend, God revealed area after area of areas in my life where I need to step up and be a man. Right now, I am a boy with facial hair, but am far from being a man. This includes (but isn't limited to): school, homework, President of the Student Body, relationships, body, time in prayer, time in the Word, memorization of Scripture, maturity, time management in general, and my relationship with Him. Too many times have I made excuses as to why I am not where I need to be in these areas, but part of being a man is taking responsibility. This is just a glimpse into last night, but what kept going over and over in my mind is "I can't wait 30 years to learn these things, I need to get them right because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. If I want to finish strong like the Apostle Paul, I need to need to be running hard now, cause I don't know when the finish line is coming." Obviously, with everything that happened with Caden's death last year this has been on my mind more than ever. God gives life and takes it away; we will never know why specifically everything about it, but it happens.

Within the last hour I have received news that a young man, Johnson Ko, who was a Freshman when I was a Senior at my high school (who was now a Senior), died in his sleep last night. I still know and keep in touch with many of the students (it's a small Christian high school of about 100), including my younger sister who was in his class. I asked Ben, who is there today, what the mood is around the campus, and it, as you can imagine, is mostly shock. He was fine yesterday, had a part in the school play (with opening night that was supposed to be this Thursday, now will be postponed), and was living his life like any other day. But, as Ben reminded me, He is with our Father and is fully alive for the first time.

As we have gone through Caden's passing, we understand what is going on with his family and friends right now. There is obviously sorrow that he is no longer with us, but what rejoicing should be ours because he is in an infinitely better place walking with His Saviour and Creator. Please be in prayer for all everyone involved. He was definitely saved, and I think his family is as well.

It's His sovereignty that God brought the rebuke last night and then today the reminder why this is crucial. We aren't promised tomorrow. Today is the day of salvation. If you're saved, today is the day to live a life of sanctification and holiness. It is the day to ask God to reveal where you still need to grow and then make those changes. It is the day to let His Word transform your life.

When that day comes that I kneel before Him like Johnson Ko is doing today, I want, not only my lips, but my life to proclaim "MY GOD, HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

P.S. - I have a new playlist at the bottom of my blog. The first song is a beautiful version of Come Thou Fount. Please check it out. . .

Mas Por Favor

So yes. Nothing to say except for "my bad" and hopefully I'll do better next time. But like I said, I'm not feeling super talkative or creative, so if you wanna ask me questions or maybe give me the first line of a story, I can make a short story on the spot (that should be interesting). Anyway, I'm pretty open to you guys (since I do this for you guys). Thank you for getting on my case or I probably would have never gotten on again. Much love my homies. Grace & Peace Out. . .

Idols. . .

It's funny because I think as Western Christians we have such a skewed views of idols. We don't like talking about it, but when we do it is something that tribal groups bow to. We don't think about how most living rooms are set up around the tv and everyday we sit and worship our TV for hours. We don't see that we worship money. We call it the American Dream, but it can definitely be a form of idolatry. 

Mine started out pure. I bought a laptop a year and a half ago. I used it a lot. Slowly, over time, it began to consume more and more of my time. I justified it by saying that it had become my hub where I store everything: address book, calendar, I chat with my friends, I design things on here, I watch countless Mark Driscoll sermons, movies, homework, my portal back to SF, all my 40 GB of music, and everything else. I have bibles and (via internet) access to endless commentaries. None of these things are bad, but I would spend hours sitting here and then at the end of the day I could not remember anything I accomplished.

Anyway, God, very quickly, gave me a better perspective on the situation and used some friends. They were talking to me about being open handed with God's stuff that He is letting me be the steward of.

So yeah, there we go. As I said before, I will update you guys on school and work later, but here is just an example of God's grace. Adios. . .