In light of my previous post. . .

Let me start this off by saying, if you haven't read my pervious post "And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart" go read it and then continue with this one.

ok.

So after God rocked my world and then rocked it again (monday and tuesday), I went to the office of Crossroads' Executive VP and talked to him about it and kinda looked for what my next step is supposed to be. He was ecstatic about the whole thing and was pumped for me. It being a trial in my life, I was a little more reserved in my response to God dealing with me. When I asked him about what was next, he reminded me of the parable of the guy who lent money to two guys and canceled both debts (one of 50 denarii and one of 500 denarii, representing 2 months' wages and 20 months' wages respectively) from Luke 7:36-50. This parable is told after the sinful women anointed Jesus with the expensive perfume and the Pharisee whose house they are eating in gets bent out of shape about the whole thing. The point of the parable is summed up in verse 47 where Jesus says "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

What an incredibly powerful statement that is. I think why I didn't love God as much as I should have when I was younger is because I thought I only had a few sins and they weren't big enough for Jesus to really worry about, so it wasn't a big deal. Now that I realize that my heart is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) and (to borrow a term that might rub some the wrong way) completely, totally, and utterly depraved, I love God a lot more because I realize that I have been forgiven of so much.

After we talked for a few minutes, he draw a diagram for me about this. There was a man at the bottom (narrow part) of a cone-shaped thing (that opened up wider and wider), arrows on either side of the man and God & holiness at the other end of the cone. The arrows on either side of the man represented (on the left) his awareness of sin and (on the right) his gratitude or love towards God. As the man worked his way up the cone toward God & holiness, the arrows got longer (aka. the more he saw himself for who he was, meaning how sinful he was in light of a perfect & holy God and also that he would have more gratitude and love in light of seeing all that he had been forgiven on).

I had never thought of it this way before, but that definitely needed to be my response to God pealing back more of the curtain that revealed more and more of my sin to me. I was originally frustrated and angry with myself, but John reminded me that that would lead to condemnation (which Romans 8:1 says is not the case for Christians).

So I am definitely not there yet, but it is encouraging to see God working on me. Praise God that my salvation is not in my hands, but in those of my Lord & God. . .

. . .And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart. . .

Recently, the combination of "How Great Is Our God" & "How Great Thou Art" has been playing over and over again in my mind. I have been stuck specifically on the last stanza of the beloved hymn:

"When Christ shall come, with shout of acclimation,

And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.

Then I shall bow in humble adoration,

And then proclaim: "MY GOD, HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

I don't know why, but this classic hymn along with this contemporary chorus makes my heart bow down and makes me realize how great He really is.

As I told my best friend Ben last night, "God picked today to deal with me" and He really did. After listening the the Mark Driscoll sermon (at the bottom of this blog) and having a crucial conversation with a friend, God revealed area after area of areas in my life where I need to step up and be a man. Right now, I am a boy with facial hair, but am far from being a man. This includes (but isn't limited to): school, homework, President of the Student Body, relationships, body, time in prayer, time in the Word, memorization of Scripture, maturity, time management in general, and my relationship with Him. Too many times have I made excuses as to why I am not where I need to be in these areas, but part of being a man is taking responsibility. This is just a glimpse into last night, but what kept going over and over in my mind is "I can't wait 30 years to learn these things, I need to get them right because I'm not guaranteed tomorrow. If I want to finish strong like the Apostle Paul, I need to need to be running hard now, cause I don't know when the finish line is coming." Obviously, with everything that happened with Caden's death last year this has been on my mind more than ever. God gives life and takes it away; we will never know why specifically everything about it, but it happens.

Within the last hour I have received news that a young man, Johnson Ko, who was a Freshman when I was a Senior at my high school (who was now a Senior), died in his sleep last night. I still know and keep in touch with many of the students (it's a small Christian high school of about 100), including my younger sister who was in his class. I asked Ben, who is there today, what the mood is around the campus, and it, as you can imagine, is mostly shock. He was fine yesterday, had a part in the school play (with opening night that was supposed to be this Thursday, now will be postponed), and was living his life like any other day. But, as Ben reminded me, He is with our Father and is fully alive for the first time.

As we have gone through Caden's passing, we understand what is going on with his family and friends right now. There is obviously sorrow that he is no longer with us, but what rejoicing should be ours because he is in an infinitely better place walking with His Saviour and Creator. Please be in prayer for all everyone involved. He was definitely saved, and I think his family is as well.

It's His sovereignty that God brought the rebuke last night and then today the reminder why this is crucial. We aren't promised tomorrow. Today is the day of salvation. If you're saved, today is the day to live a life of sanctification and holiness. It is the day to ask God to reveal where you still need to grow and then make those changes. It is the day to let His Word transform your life.

When that day comes that I kneel before Him like Johnson Ko is doing today, I want, not only my lips, but my life to proclaim "MY GOD, HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

P.S. - I have a new playlist at the bottom of my blog. The first song is a beautiful version of Come Thou Fount. Please check it out. . .