Priorities & Knowing God

There have been several things that have been going through my mind/God teaching me today, but two stick out.

Priorities.

Knowing God better.

Let me start out by explaining what happened today. Cari & Andy are the couple I live withish. Around 5 this morning (Tuesday), Andy had a seizure. Cari called 911 and they took him to the hospital down the street. Within 30 minutes, Cari said he was completely back to normal, but they ran a bunch of tests to see what it was. It turns out he has a tumor on his brain. They will operate on Friday and, Lord willing, it will never come back. Whether it does or not, We know God is in control.

With all that as back story, I will begin at the end of tonight. I was asked by Cari and Andy to come back to the hospital after my night class so I could walk Cari out to the parking lot. I got there a few minutes early and as Cari was packing up to leave, she offhandedly/rhetorically asked, "Do you even remember what our biggest problem was yesterday?" Andy, being mostly out of it was slightly confused because he, well, was pretty exhausted. But that one question stuck in my mind.

Why is it that it takes a horrific event to get our priorities straight? After September 11, families started spending more time together. When my friend Johnson Ko died a few weeks ago, I called my sister, who was in his class, and told her I loved her. When Caden died last September, we all let go of those things that were bugging us the day before we found out. What was the biggest problem Cari and Andy had yesterday? Who cares? Whatever it was is obviously still there, but in light of a precious husband, brother, friend, who cares?

Problems will come and go. They will always be around and they will never stop coming. We need to realize that our priorities are out of alignment before the next horrific event takes place. Because if we don't, we might not get the chance to fix them in time (in case you don't remember that order, here it is: 1st) God. 2nd) Spouse (or family if you are single). 3rd) Your Children (if you have kids). 4th) Everything else (job, school, ect. . .).

The other thing He taught me was the beauty of knowing God more and more. I found out at 6:45 AM when Trish (Cari's mom) called me, let me know what happened, and asked me to let Bo (their beloved dog) out so he could. . well, ya know. So I did, but I stayed up for a bit and prayed. At first reaction, I will admit I was a bit frustrated with God. I was thinking, "God, isn't it honoring when two of your children love each other, have healthy kids, and live normal lives?" I thought about it for another minute when suddenly it donned on me that this might be a little warning sign of something really being wrong with Andy. Within a few hours, we all found out that Andy had that tumor and that there is a chance once it is removed, it might be gone forever. Without the seizure, we would have not found out and who knows what would have happened.

That idea that I had wasn't because of my superior knowledge, but because I am getting to know God better. I am listening and my will is beginning to align with His. What I have learned is that God has a bigger purpose for everything that happens. If I live a life that is shallow and make demands of God to know everything right away, that isn't going to help me know more. But if I am spending time with Him in prayer and in His Word, I will know more about who He is and His characteristics. He isn't the bully with a fly swatter ready to destroy us when we do something wrong. He loves His children and wants to bless them.

Why do we live lives that are so shallow? In our mircowaved, drive-thru, lose 80 pounds in 15 minute society, we need to see that God doesn't work like that. We can't avoid Him and then expect to know more about Him. We are in a relationship with Him. I have heard, from people who know, that when you get a girlfriend or boyfriend, you want to spend as much time with them as possible. You learn their characteristics, mannerisms, quirks, you see how they react to different situations, and as you spend time with them, you get to know them better. If you start dating someone and then talk to them once a week, it probably isn't going to last long. If you disregard them and ignore them, it won't be soon until they say "ya know what. I don't think this is gunna work out."

Similarly, spending time with God in prayer and Bible study is like eating and drinking. It is so 100% completely necessary to live. Would you expect someone who had one meal on Sunday morning and maybe one on a Wednesday night to be a healthy person, while the rest of the week, they didn't have anything to nourish their bodies? Of course not. So why do we expect to listen (half listen probably) to a 30 minute sermon and consider ourselves good for the week. In John 7, Jesus talks about how He is the living water and in John 6 Jesus refers to Himself as the bread of Life. That is how essential time with Him is.

As I'm saying this stuff, I am realizing how far I have to go and how much I still have to learn, but I'm making progress. I am still lightyears away, but I now see the foolishness of how society and I have tried to do things. Please see the truth presented here and respond accordingly. Matthew 7:24-27 is the passage about the two different reactions when they heard the Word of God. Those who hear and do something are the ones who build their house on the rock. Rains will come. Their house stood firm. Respond accordingly. . .

Unexpected treat (and a minor soap box). . .

God is good. I mean really really really really good. Kinda beyond description.

So it has been a long and rough week, but I was on Facebook tonight just minding my own business, when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone I went to high school with sent me a message on Facebook chat. We weren't enemies in high school (I mean common, it's me), but we had some rough times. I was me and he was kinda a ghetto kid who often would mock me for, well, being me. Overall we got along, but after he graduated ('05) I didn't hear much from him or even about him. I saw that he joined the army, but I didn't know much beyond that. I wondered how he was doing and if he was walking with God (I wasn't sure if he was even walking with God in high school).

So he starts up a conversation and is asking me about how I'm doing and where I am and what I'm planning on doing. When I told him I was at a Bible College in Indianapolis as a Biblical Counseling major who is the Student Council President, I was expected him to start mocking me again like he had so many times before. I was shocked when he expressed interest to hear more. We keep talking and he is in Afghanistan with 10 months left until he goes back to San Francisco. Once he goes back, he is planning on leading a worship team that would play all over the Bay Area. Wow. Is this the same guy? Well not really. He said that after high school, God did some big things in his life that forced him to cling to God. He wasn't the same guy. God had changed him.

*WARNING! RICHARD IS STEPPING UP ONTO A BOX THAT CONTAINS SOAP AND IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR IT, DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T WARN YOU! THIS IS AT LEAST TWO OR THREE LINES OF TEXT AND IF YOU CONTINUE ON, IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT( if you aren't ready for it, go to the bottom where you see more bold font and right underneath that, I will step off the box of soap)!*

How often do we put limits on God? How often do we think that something, no matter what it is, is impossible for God to do or change? Which heart is so hard that He can't melt? What obstacle is so big that God won't do it? Now I'm not saying that God will always choose to act just because He can, but why do we all too often limit God? How many times has He blown each of us away? Maybe a better question is why we have such short memories spans? We know He is faithful, so why does that not matter?

I think it is because we don't "feel" it. Now I am about to seriously pimp-slap (I don't know if that is appropriate, but it is too late) the next person who says, "I know God promised ______ in the Bible, but I just don't FEEEEEEEEEELLLL it!" Who gives a flying fart in space (a British term, not mine) what you feel? If God promised it is His Word, it is better than any feelings. Or should I say "truer" than any feelings.

What is so beautiful about God is that no matter how we feel, He is faithful and He will always keep His promises. In those times that something seems impossible, He is just as faithful. We are so driven by our feelings nowadays that it seems like we are elevating our feelings over God's promises. This is not only wrong but stupid (sorry, I'll watch my language). This is some of the best news since it isn't dependent on us for God to keep His promises. He isn't sitting on his thrown slouched and solving a Rubki's cube saying "Man, I don't wanna do this right now, I'm not feeling it right now. Come back later when I feel like keeping my promise."

We need to take His promises as His promises and not let our feelings limit Him in what He can do.

*FOR THOSE WHO STOPPED READING UP THERE, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO COME BACK TO A RICHARD WHO IS MORE EVEN TEMPERED AND WILL NOT BE GETTING BACK ON HIS BOX TONIGHT FOR FEAR THAT THE RAIN WILL TURN HIS SOAP BOX INTO A SOAP SUD PARTY ON THE STREET CORNER WHERE RICHARD AND HIS ONCE PROPERLY SHAPED BOX WERE EARLIER!*

It was amazing to see how different he was and it served as a reminder that I'm no better than him. We are both ill-deserving sinner saved by God's grace. We both committed enough sins to fill the oceans and put our Saviour on that cross. The miracle that I see so clearly God did in this young man's life is the same one that He did for me and continues to do in my life. He saved me and is saving me. When Paul said that "none is righteous, no not one" (Romans 3:10) this does not somehow magically exclude me.

I know I mentioned this in my previous post, but I am struck by the boldness of Jesus' words in Luke 7 when He says "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." Jesus know that we each have an infinite number of sins, but I think this is about perception. She was a sinful women and the other man was a teacher of the Jewish law. She knew she was filthy and needed lots of forgiveness. The other man, not so much. He needed just as much forgiveness, but he didn't think he needed it.

I was that man. I was religious and the young man was more known for his sins. But in the end, we both need the same unmerited favor. Now that I know that just by being religious does nothing, I realize that I have been forgiven of much and because of that, I love much and will continue to love much.

*Please be in prayer for my friend, Gilbert Lucero serving in the U.S. Army who is currently deployed in Afghanistan. He is serving his country well and is striving to serve his God well*

In light of my previous post. . .

Let me start this off by saying, if you haven't read my pervious post "And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart" go read it and then continue with this one.

ok.

So after God rocked my world and then rocked it again (monday and tuesday), I went to the office of Crossroads' Executive VP and talked to him about it and kinda looked for what my next step is supposed to be. He was ecstatic about the whole thing and was pumped for me. It being a trial in my life, I was a little more reserved in my response to God dealing with me. When I asked him about what was next, he reminded me of the parable of the guy who lent money to two guys and canceled both debts (one of 50 denarii and one of 500 denarii, representing 2 months' wages and 20 months' wages respectively) from Luke 7:36-50. This parable is told after the sinful women anointed Jesus with the expensive perfume and the Pharisee whose house they are eating in gets bent out of shape about the whole thing. The point of the parable is summed up in verse 47 where Jesus says "Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven--for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."

What an incredibly powerful statement that is. I think why I didn't love God as much as I should have when I was younger is because I thought I only had a few sins and they weren't big enough for Jesus to really worry about, so it wasn't a big deal. Now that I realize that my heart is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) and (to borrow a term that might rub some the wrong way) completely, totally, and utterly depraved, I love God a lot more because I realize that I have been forgiven of so much.

After we talked for a few minutes, he draw a diagram for me about this. There was a man at the bottom (narrow part) of a cone-shaped thing (that opened up wider and wider), arrows on either side of the man and God & holiness at the other end of the cone. The arrows on either side of the man represented (on the left) his awareness of sin and (on the right) his gratitude or love towards God. As the man worked his way up the cone toward God & holiness, the arrows got longer (aka. the more he saw himself for who he was, meaning how sinful he was in light of a perfect & holy God and also that he would have more gratitude and love in light of seeing all that he had been forgiven on).

I had never thought of it this way before, but that definitely needed to be my response to God pealing back more of the curtain that revealed more and more of my sin to me. I was originally frustrated and angry with myself, but John reminded me that that would lead to condemnation (which Romans 8:1 says is not the case for Christians).

So I am definitely not there yet, but it is encouraging to see God working on me. Praise God that my salvation is not in my hands, but in those of my Lord & God. . .